Okay folks, here goes another installment of my divorce chronicles. I continue to get some wonderful emails and comments. I really appreciate that so many of you are reading. I wish I had been writing a blog back when this was all new and fresh. I am sure many of you could have given me some good advice back then.
To be perfectly honest these posts could go on for a while, although I would like to finish them up soon. Believe it or not it is a bit painful to relive some of these memories, while others are good to remember. During my separation period, from the day she returned home till the end and beyond, I kept a written diary. It is saved to this day as a Word document. That is partially why I can remember it all so well. I guess the birth of these posts is due to my re-reading of that diary a couple weeks ago. I promise to continue with these posts till they are finished, but I doubt that they will be an every day occurrence. I would like to post about current events on occasion. Hopefully you won't mind if I do.
Now back to the story. If you are a first time reader you might want to check out part 1
, part 2
, part 3
and part 4
, so you will get a better understanding of this entry which is part 5.
I had realized from the beginning that I was going to need some ammunition against her. With the call she made to me on the day I was served the papers, and her mention of Gabe, I had figured that something wasn't quite right about her relationship with this guy. I knew that I would have to find a way to work myself back into her good graces, and being her "friend" again was the best way to get to that point. Knowing that this would most likely be a difficult task, I was thankful that my Uncle had turned me on to the need to keep a good record of anything she might say. So with my trusty digital tape recorder I was ready for anything and everything. My only hope was that she wouldn't notice that I was constantly wearing shirts with a pocket. I figured there would be no more pocket less t-shirts or Polo shirts in my future.
I came all the way into the bedroom and sat down next to her on the bed. I asked what exactly she meant about this "dick head". She began to pour it all out to me. She said she had hired a private investigation service because she wanted to prove that I had been cheating. Her female lawyer had told her she would need proof, so she turned FA onto a service that she had used with other clients. It just so happened that the man who was assigned to follow me around, this Gabe person, was also a man with few ethics. He had seen a need (FA's vulnerability) and pounced upon it. She revealed to me that, on the late afternoon when she had called me to tell me that she knew I had been served the papers, Gabe had traveled up to Huntsville to be with her. She claimed, and I am not sure of the truth to this day, that he did not come into the hotel room where my kids were sleeping, but met her out in the hotel corridor. She told me in detail how they had sat on the floor and talked and how it had moved to kissing and how he eventually had put his hand down the front of the pajamas she had been wearing. I would later learn that they had had sex with each other a few weeks before this night. Anyway, she told me about how she had gone to meet him the night before me and the kids had taken the trip to Tennessee. How they had met up and he had her follow him way out in the country to a deserted dirt road. She then went into detail about how he had bent her over the drivers seat of the SUV, there with the drivers door open, and had sex with her from behind. Then she continued the detail, telling me about the night, three days later, when he had met up with her again, fucked her, then began to tell her about how guilty he felt, and confessing to her about being married to a woman who was carrying his child.
I continued to sit there listening to her, while being thankful that I was taping the whole thing. She talked about how she thought she could be in love with him and also how upset she was that he had lied to her. I listened to her talk and sat there nodding and saying the right things, but thinking; wow....what has this woman turned into? The woman I had been married to for over eleven years. It was hard for me to grasp the concept that she was talking about a sexual relationship that had to do with someone other than me. She went on for a good fifteen minutes then told me she needed to get some sleep. As I stood up I said,
"I know things are weird with us right now and that we are getting a divorce. That is certain right
." She confirmed. Just was wanting to make sure she wasn't trying to change things.
"Okay, good. Well, I just want you to know that you can talk to me anytime you want. We may be getting a divorce, but we can surely be friends
." (This suggestion will be explained further down)
I excused myself from the bedroom and made my way back up stairs. As I lay on the pallet in my office that night I couldn't help but think things might be a little better than I had thought previously. Her claim of adultery had just been blown out the window, and I had proof.
The rest of the week was uneventfull. I met with my attorney and he was happy that I was taping our talks. Since Alabama is a state that doesn't require that the taped party be aware of the taping, I was good to go. I tried to work, but it was hard to focus. Luckily my boss was completely aware of the situation and very cooperative with me and my lack of production. I spent time with the kids, going on walks with my daughter T every day in the early evenings. By the end of the first ten days since she had left, I had lost twelve pounds. Things were definitely looking up.
I was also talking to Susan every day. We kept each other abreast of our daily activities either by phone or Yahoo Messenger. I had decided by mid week to take another trip up to Tennessee the next weekend. Susan and I began to make plans to meet and I was really looking forward to it. We had shared a high degree of intimacy with one another either by phone or by web camera, and I was really looking forward to having the chance to look her in the eyes, put my arms around her, kiss her.....It was going to be a great meeting.
FA continued to spend most of her day and evenings away from the house. I literally became a single parent from day one, taking care of all of the kid's needs. Where she would go I was never quite sure. It was only on the rare occasion that we would be home together in the evenings that we would sometimes talk. Our having talks was not always guaranteed though. There were times, usually on the days she had met with or talked to her attorney, that she would seem to clam up. I guess she was getting counsel to watch what we talked about. But eventually she would always come around, making some statement about how I am the only one who really knows her, and then she'd talk.
She would tell me about men she would meet at the gym. How they would flirt with her. She told me how Gabe still called her all the time, wanting to meet with her some place. They had retired from screwing in MY
new car, and had began getting a hotel room. Fortunately for FA she could afford it, seeing as she had taken pretty much all my money. I found her bank statement among some papers in the back seat of the car and saw where her Mom and Dad had been wiring money into her account. Besides the thousands she had taken only weeks before, her parents had given her at least 3K between them. I saw paperwork from her attorney and was able to tell that the retainer she had paid was a thousand more than mine. I also saw a receipt from the private investigator which reminds me of yet another shocking occurrence.
If you will remember I had mentioned in the first post that she had taken my Dad's credit card from my wallet at some point before she left me. Well it quickly became apparent that she had charged the private eye fees on my Dad's Visa. ALL $6,000 OF IT! When Dad finally got his statement he was able to see that she had also charged a number of other things on the card as well, including a lot of new clothes and make-up at the mall. This was unbelievable. We were eventually able to get FA's Mom to pay the charges back, due to the threat of prosecution, but still it was amazing to us all how out of touch with reality she was/is to even consider doing something like that.
I must also take a moment here and explain something. I am sure there are those of you reading this who are amazed that I could have stood to be in the same room with her, much less have conversations with her. After all she had stolen most of my money, made an attempt to ruin my credit rating, and done many other terrible things like taking Dad's credit card. Well, to be honest with you I did totally despise her. Had she fallen off the face of the earth I would have been very happy, but there was more to it than that. At first I was desperately afraid of what I could possibly lose in the divorce; most my income, my house, my kids, etc. I felt like being her "friend" would be the only way I could slip through the crack in the wall she had built up and remain close enough to learn any info she would let slip about her activities. I figured I would need as much ammunition as I could get, if the divorce battle got fierce. That is why I played the role of "soon to be ex husband, but still best friend
" during the time we were going through the separation. In the months after the divorce, when she was screwing everything with a dick and working as an escort, I remained her friend because I felt I needed to have all this on going dirt on her in case she ever got a wild hair to try to fight me for primary custody, or get more money out of me. In the 21 months Susan and I have been married I have remained FA's friend primarily because Susan has found joy in finding out all the random shit FA continues to do that screws up her life. Somewhere along the way I have got used to this "post divorce" FA. Since the alimony was eliminated last month I really have no ties with her, other than the kids, and I have actually had pleasant conversations with her. I do not think we have raised our voices with each other since February.
That Friday the kids and I again headed back to Tennessee and I left home not knowing what FA might be doing in my house while I was away. But the affairs of the ex were not my primary concern, for this was the weekend I would be meeting Susan for the first time. I was excited yet nervous as hell!
We arranged to meet Saturday night at one of the malls in town. I showered well, shaved and lathered myself in cologne. We had planned to meet inside at the main entrance next to the Ruby Tuesday
restaurant. I drove the whole twenty minute drive with sweaty palms. As I got closer to the mall I became more and more nervous. Why should I be so worried, I thought. It isn't like we don't already know just about everything there was to know about each other. In the nearly four weeks since our first contact online we had shared many long and detailed phone and Internet chats. We had even recently had our first ever phone sex experience. This woman knows me and I know her, even though we had never laid eyes on one another in the flesh.
But what if she doesn't like me when she sees me in three dimension? I had stood up for her while I was on camera and showed her every inch of me, but I couldn't help worrying that she might not like how I look when we finally met. Is my hair too short or long or curly? Are the jeans and shirt I chose to wear not stylish enough? Speaking of my jeans, does this pair make me look too fat? As I mentioned above I had lost some weight, but I certainly could stand to lose a little more. All these thoughts were swirling through my head when suddenly my cell phone rang. It was her...
"Hey, where are you
?" I cleared my troubled thoughts enough to take a look at my surroundings. I was pulling into the mall parking lot.
"Just pulling in now. Are you there already
"Yep, I am here sitting where we agreed to meet. Hurry up, I am dying here! I want to see you
"I will be there in a minute. I can't wait to see you too
I hung up and tried to settle my nerves as well as my breathing. This was really about to happen. The moment I had waited for since Valentine's Day was just a couple of minutes from becoming reality. I found a parking spot and turned off the car. In the rearview mirror I checked my hair. I took a deep breath and got out of the car. As I walked towards the mall entrance the butterfly's in my stomach began to work overtime. This was it. Before I reached for the door handle I ran my hands down the legs of my jeans. It certainly wouldn't do to greet her with sweaty hands. I push open the door, stepped into the vestibule and pushed open the other door then stepped into the Knoxville Center Mall
It took a second for my eyes to adjust from the bright sunlight outside. Once they had I immediately looked to my right at the entrance to Ruby Tuesday. There were a few people milling about, leaving their name with the hostess, but none looked like Susan. I turned and looked to my left along the line of open stores and people shopping. Nothing, nada...I turned my head back to the restaurant and slowly worked my filed of vision from the restaurant entrance and along the low brick wall outside the place. Pausing a second on any blonde woman I would see. There, about half way down the wall she sat, watching me with a big grin on her face. My breath stopped. It was her, and she was more beautiful in person than I could have ever imagined.
I smiled and waved. She continued to smile at me and lifted her hand in greeting as I took my first step in her direction.
To be continued.....