What's "Up Chuck"?

I certainly had an interesting weekend. It all started Friday with the wife and I being completely alone. My daughter was spending the night with a friend and my son was staying with his Mother. I didn’t get finished with work till around 6pm and then Susan got home around 6:30. We watched a movie, Lord of War, and then retired to the bedroom. She was eager for some good love making so I went at it full force. Once we were finally done she was quite satisfied and I was as well. I toweled off the load of nut gravy from her stomach and tits and we went to bed. Early Saturday morning, as I was sleeping, I had some weird ass dreams. The dreams came in segments and I’ll paraphrase the three I remember: 1. I’m fucking this chick. She’s hot as hell from the waist up, but her ass is as wide as the back end of a Ford Taurus. I’m between her meaty legs and tapping it as good as I can. She makes a comment about not being able to feel my dick in her and I say, “If you weren’t so enormously fat, and if your pussy wasn’t so gaping and huge maybe you’d feel something.” 2. I’m in bed with Oprah. I reach out to pull her naked body close to mine. I place my hands between her ample bosom. I can feel the warmth and smoothness of her chocolate skin. Suddenly I wake up and I find my hands between my wife’s boobs. 3. I’m sitting in a dark classroom, in a corner, and I notice a black panther walk into the room. The cat was huge, three times the normal size. As it walks down the center isle, between the rows of desks, it moves it’s head from side to side...sniffing out human flesh. I close my eyes and hold my breath, hoping it won’t notice me hiding in the corner. Suddenly my wife walks into the room, turning on the light, and the big cat turns to her...pounces, takes her up into it’s jaws and carries her off. I feel a sudden appreciation that I was spared, then wake up. So, what do you think these dreams mean? Feel free to give me your interpretation. Saturday afternoon I went out and bought some steaks and crab cakes. I’ve become a beef snob. I’m so used to Prime Beef, the Choice stuff just doesn’t do anything for me anymore. Of course you can’t get the Prime meat at the grocery store. I go to a butcher shop to buy it and the filet mignon cost $20 a pound, but it’s worth it! I bought two pounds and headed home. This prime shit is very good, but it pales in comparison to the Alberta Beef I had back in December while we were in Canada. Anyway, I fired up the grill and cooked some succulent fillets, while frying some tasty crab cakes and sauteing some mushrooms and onions. The meal was excellent. On Sunday my son lost his first tooth. Unfortunately my ex wife was the one who had the privilege of pulling this first loose tooth. When I picked him up from her apartment he was all kinds of proud to show me his “missing tooth smile” and the tooth he had stored away in a small envelope. We talked about the Tooth Fairy and how she would leave him some money for his trouble. That evening, as I was putting him to bed, he revealed to me the decision he’d spent the better part of the day thinking about. After brushing his remaining teeth and going to the bathroom he looked up at me and said, “Dad I don’t want to leave my tooth under the pillow.” “Why’s that?” I asked. “Well it’s because I want to keep the tooth. I don’t want her to take it away.” I quickly came up with an alternative idea, the same one my Mother had suggested a million years ago when I said the same thing to her. “Let’s write a note on the envelope and ask the Tooth Fairy if she’d be willing to leave the tooth, but still leave some money.” I took the little envelope and wrote, “Please don’t take my tooth. I’m sure you have plenty already. Thank you, L.” He was satisfied and put the envelope under his pillow. I went back forty five minutes later, once he was asleep, and slipped a crisp dollar bill under his pillow. I’m so proud of my boy. He’s so much like his old man! Y’all have a great Monday!