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Friday, March 31, 2006


Heartbreak Hotel

Yesterday my twelve-year-old daughter T came home with tears in her eyes. I had just gotten in from a day of meetings and work when she walked home from the bus. I could tell immediately that something wasn’t right. I assumed that something had gone wrong at school, and I was right. It seemed one of her best friends made a move towards T’s boyfriend and won. She’s heartbroken. Now I’ve known this “friend” of hers for a couple years. We’ve had her over to spend the night countless times and taken her places with us, etc. This girl is a total piece of shit. She’s been busted already at school and at a store for stealing. She’s a habitual liar. When she’s here at the house she puts on the “Eddie Haskell” act and tries to act all nice and polite, but you can see right through her. Susan and I’ve tried to get T to drop this friend for months now, but my ex is a friend of the girls Mom so it makes it hard for T to end things. Hell, the girl’s step Dad is a minister so you’d think she’d act like she had some kind of home training. Then again, you know what they say about Preacher’s Kids… So I laid it on the line with T yesterday afternoon and told her she needed to cut off this skank once and for all. Once I was done hugging her and wiping away her tears I told her that I’d help her write a note to the ex boyfriend. Last night after dinner I sat down and dictated what I thought she should say to the punk. Man did we have fun with that! It took a couple of drafts, but we finally got things like we liked them. We ended it with this statement, “I’m not saying all this because I want to get back together with you. I’m writing it because I want you to know the truth about _____ . Besides, I wouldn’t want to go out with someone who would stoop so low as to break up with me for someone as disgusting as her.” Ain’t no two bit punk ass 7th grader going to mess with my precious! Just to clarify, the kids in the seventh grade here don’t actually go out. “Going out” is the phrase they use for being boyfriend and girlfriend. Like when I was young we said “going together”. Anyway, it’s mostly a relationship for the hallway at school. They don’t even talk on the phone together. But still, he was her first real boyfriend and I hate to see her hurt. Well it’s Friday, but the weeks not over for me. I’ve got a shit load of work to do today before the whistle blows and I slide down the dinosaur’s back, clock out and head home to Wilma. I’ve also got a lot of travel time in my future. I’ll be out of town three days next week and then three more the week after. What will my wife do without me? I already told her that I’m sorry she’ll have to go without the wonders that are my manhood and sexual technique for so many nights. She just rolled her eyes and snorted. Ah, it’s great to be so loved…. Y’all have a great weekend!

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