Tuesday, January 17, 2006
I’ve been struggling lately, and I had to take a few days hiatus from the blogosphere. I guess I owe you all an explanation. So, let me begin...
I have a very addictive personality. Throughout my life I’ve put my all into whatever was of interest to me. When I was a kid I would live and breath whatever the interest du jour was at any particular time. Whether it was Star Wars, Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica or Little House on the Prairie I didn’t know how to turn my interest off. I could never be into more than one at a time, I had to devote all my attention to the subject at hand. Things haven’t changed too much as an adult.
Next Monday I will have been maintaining a blog for a year and a half. During the past eighteen months my blog has ruled much of my waking time. There have been occasions where I’ve put other things in my life on hold, just so I could write here, or read other blogs. When I get up in the morning the first thing I do is check my blog, post and read comments. Throughout the day I check back regularly to see what all is going on around this neighborhood of blogs of which I am a part of. It is almost like the blog rules me instead of the other way around. I’m tired of it. No, not just tired but sick....I can’t continue to go on like this. This blog should be a good ways down on the list of what’s important in my life. It doesn’t give me the kind of joy spending time with my kids can bring. It certainly doesn’t pay me a salary, and that is necessary to function in life. Equally important, it doesn’t provide the kind of sexual release spending time with my wife can give. So why keep it? I don’t know, but it’s a question I need to find an answer to. (By the way, wives are good for other stuff besides sex. I just wanted to check and see if I had your attention....yeah, right...)
So what to do....As of last Thursday I had intended to write a heartfelt goodbye post, but now I’m not so sure. While this blog shouldn’t hold the amount of importance as it does, it’s still like a kid of mine. It would be hard to let it go completely. I’m reminded, around this time of MLK, Jr. Day, of that scene from Roots where the children are being torn from the arms of their slave Mother to be taken away and sold to another owner. While ending my blog is certainly not as dramatic as that, it’s still hard.
To be honest I do get a fair amount of enjoyment from maintaining a blog. I’ve made great friends and learned a lot. I’ve grown as a person too, with semi talents I never thought I could have. Writing is one of these. Looking back at earlier posts I think it’s somewhat evident that I’ve grown in skill. Yeah, I’m sure there are many of you now who would dispute that last statement! Still, this blog has brought me pleasure. Then again, the drug addict may say the same thing about their next shot of heroin.
So I guess I’ll keep it for now. Sometime over the past weekend I decided that I wasn’t quite ready to give it up. Instead of giving it up I’m going to give myself some time and see if I can’t train myself not to focus so much effort into it, as well as other blogs. If I’m successful then you’ll be able to continue to see the usual four or five posts a week. If not, then I guess you’ll see that goodbye post in the future. One way or the other I’ll succeed in strengthening my focus in those areas that are more important. It’s a win-win situation for sure. I hope you’ll all agree.
In other news I’ve lost thirteen pounds over the past eight days. My diet is going well with only the rare moment of cheating over the weekend. On Sunday we had what I like to call a Family Fun Day, of FFD for short. This particular FFD found the four of us having a nice lunch out then going bowling. My five year old son was particularly excited about it saying, “I’ve never bowled in my whole life.” Then somewhere during the seventh frame everyone was bored but me. The boy was whining about his bowling shoes hurting his feet, my daughter was mad because she kept getting gutter balls and Susan was pissed over the Indy/Pittsburg game. Seeing as the FFD was not so fun, my feelings became hurt and I got all grumpy. I ended up getting them all dipped cones from Dairy Queen on the way home, and everyone’s mood brightened after that. When we got home Susan asked if I’d mind if she took a little nap, and I said no just as long as I could get a blow job later. She promised she’d give me one, but never followed through. So much for my FFD.
Well, I hope you’re all having a good week. I’ll stick around and I’ll be talking to you all again soon.