What's "Up Chuck"?

Today I feel totally lethargic. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Mayhap it’s due to my staying up till 3am watching the Bobby Darin biography on The Biography Channel and then some random Columbo movie from 1991. I just can’t get with it today. A perfect example is this....My son just asked where his other mitten was and I told him that he had left it at his Mother's, so the only thing he could do was chop off one hand since he only had the one glove. See....something ain’t right with me. I have to work through most of Thursday, then I’m off till next Tuesday. I was all into the Christmas Spirit, but alas it seems to have left me now. I need to get it back and get out of this funk. Maybe it would help if I showered and shaved. I haven’t done so since like Friday. Yeah, I’m thinking that could help. I should also shave my face whilst I’m at it. Yesterday I went out and picked up our free honey baked spiral cut ham. Susan won a $40 gift certificate for one as a door prize at her Christmas party last Wednesday night. Other people won $300 gift certificates to a jewelry store, or $250 to a leather/fur store, or $150 to a liquor store. Yeah, we won a ham.....figures. Now my only concern is this. Will it last in the fridge till Christmas? It’s fully cooked and I’m thinking I should have waited till later in the week to pick it up. Speaking of spiral cut hams....have you ever noticed how they look oddly like a vagina? Complete with labia. If you hadn't thought of it before, you might now.... I think I'll take a shower and try to get my act together.