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Tuesday, July 19, 2005


Two Years of Marriage...

Today is the day. Two years ago at around one o’clock in the afternoon me, Susan and my sister gathered on the front porch of an old retired Baptist preachers house in Tennessee and officially got hitched in our jeans (no fancy clothes for us). We stood there on the old man’s porch, facing the house, with him standing there before us, his back to a window. Half way during the service the blinds on the window behind him were suddenly pulled up and standing there in the window was the old man’s wife, dressed in a moo-moo. We both couldn’t help but snicker at the old woman’s sudden intrusion. After the ceremony was complete the preacher turned to Susan and said, “You know it’s said in the Old Testament that when a woman marries a divorced man it makes her a whore.” We both looked at each other in shock, not believing this had been said at our wedding. He continued by mentioning he didn’t believe that was the case since Jesus came to Earth and changed all the rules. He went on to hand us each a Bible and for the next hour he delivered us quite a sermon. It was a unique wedding, to say the least. It wasn’t supposed to happen until sometime in August. At least that was the course we had planned. On Monday, July 14th, Susan emailed me from her job in Tennessee and suggested we go ahead and do it that coming weekend. She said I should call the court house in her county and see what all was required to get the job done. To say I was shocked would have been an understatement. I emailed back asking if she was serious and she assured me she was. As many of you know, Susan and I had a bit of a whirlwind romance. By whirlwind I mean five months and by romance I mean meeting on-line in a Yahoo chat room. We literally got married five months and five days from the night we first ever encountered one another via chat. That was not the way either one of us had planned it, but it just seemed to work out that way. Marrying someone you barely know isn’t the best way to enter into the whole “till death do us part” thing. It was hard. The first year or so was pretty difficult for both of us. There were times during the first year and a half of marriage that it looked like we wouldn’t make it. I had never been with a woman who was so independent and career motivated. I had never met a woman who claimed to be a Republican, but was also pro-choice. It amazed me that she could go all day without feeling the need to call me and see how things were going. I gradually began to crack up a little. I found myself falling into a tremendous depression, thinking I could possibly lose the only woman I had ever really loved. Had I known about blogging back then you can bet I would have been filling pages daily with my rants and raves. Her independence was hard for me to deal with by it’s self, but when I discovered she had been keeping in contact with old boyfriends without my knowledge, I completely lost it. These were dark times indeed. I found myself falling into old habits and looking for a little strange on the side when I would be out of town on business. I would flirt with women at bars because I was convinced my wife didn’t really love me. At home I would sit for hours in a dark room and think about my marriage and what had gone wrong. I can remember specifically the late nights of December of 2003, sitting in the living room with only the lights from the Christmas Tree on, legal pad in hand; writing long letters to Susan about how bad I felt about us and the way she treated me. Sometimes I would tear them up after scribbling out eight to ten pages, and sometimes I would leave them for her to find the next morning. Whenever these problem times occurred we would usually talk them out, we’d apologize and then go on about our business till the next time. That usually didn’t work for long. Luckily that Spring we decided to try counseling. For a couple months we went to see a therapist, either together or separately, and gradually the clouds began to lift. I was put on anti-depressant medication and after a while my thought process began to change. I came to realize that when she tells me she loves me it could very well be possible that she actually means it. I learned that when she doesn’t call me frequently during the day it could mean she actually is working and not screwing some guy in a hotel somewhere. Folks I was in bad shape. Eventually I came to see that I was looking at everything all wrong, and once I changed my thought process my view towards our marriage got better. I took myself off the medication after about six months, and haven’t needed it since. She also made some changes. At first she seemed to fight it when she realized that I am one of those sensitive kind of guys. She hadn’t had a serious relationship in eight years or so. She wasn’t used to being around a man that she had feelings for. So, to be perfectly honest, she wasn’t very good at the whole relationship thing. It was hard for her to realize she actually had to check in with someone before she went out after work, or just randomly during the day. Most of her adult life it had all been completely about her. She was alone and had no one to answer to. Where as I was coming from the whole “married with kids” back ground, she was stepping from being “Ms. Single/go where you want/buy what you want” to a instant wife and step-mother of two kids. It was understandably hard for her, but fortunately counseling, and time, helped her see where she needed to change. It should also be noted here that even though we had tough times and periods that seemed to lead us towards divorce, the sex still rocked! Oh yeah, we sho was getting us some killer sack time, four plus nights a week! Then again, why shouldn’t we? I may have been an emotional basket case, but I was still a major stud! ;-) LOL So the union of Chuck and Susan was tremendously shaky at first. Although initially it seemed we had built our “house” upon the loose, ever shifting sand; in time the sand hardened to rock. Today I can honestly say that I have never been happier in my life. I am married to the greatest, the most beautiful, the sexiest and funniest woman in the world. In the past six months or so we have seemed to grow into our marriage. It’s almost like one morning we woke up and things just clicked into place. Sure, it isn’t perfect….there are still times when we argue and things get misunderstood, but Susan is my baby and I love her, and I am “her guy”. I can never imagine life without her. She has done so much for our family to make us better. She, who has never had a child of her own, has become an outstanding step-mother. In the words of Randy Owen of the country band, Alabama, “She’s close enough to perfect for me.” It was kinda funny late last week when we both temporarily forgot the date of our anniversary, but I can tell you one thing now. It won’t be forgotten again. July nineteenth will be remembered. While it’s true we may have walked into something we really weren’t completely sure of back on July 19th, 2003, we sure as hell are convinced of it now. Our marriage is solid, growing and passionate. I love you Susan! Happy second anniversary… I am sure I could have found a better recent picture of us. Check it out while you can…it won’t be around for long….

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