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Thursday, July 14, 2005


Aw, NUTS!!

I’m back at home from a busy couple days and (as mentioned in the last post) interesting nights. There was one thing that happened during the wee hours of Tuesday morning that I have wrestled against sharing with you here. I’ve thought about it and decided to bite the bullet and spill the beans, as it were. I was given a handicap room at the hotel I recently stayed in. Other than the fact that the beds are usually closer to the ground, I typically have no problem with staying in these rooms. It’s nice to have the extra space, especially in the bathroom. This particular bathroom had the usual handicap shower. It was completely open, with no rim or ridge separating the shower stall from the rest of the floor of the bathroom. There was a slight depression in the floor of the stall which led to a drain in the center. I am including an actual picture of the shower in question, just so the scene can be set exactly. Note: the pic was taken Wednesday morning after I had taken my shower. So, around three in morning Tuesday I am awoken with a terrible headache. I hardly ever get headaches, but this one was a monster. I tried to make it go away, I got up and took four ibuprofen, but the pounding wouldn’t stop. It suddenly occurred to me that maybe if I took a shower and let the hot water hit my head and shoulders the pain would subside. I got out of bed and went into the bathroom, keeping the light off so as not to cause any more pain. I started the shower and stood there, in the dark, shower curtain closed and waited for the pain to leave. After a moment I realized that the nozzle of the shower slid up and down on a track to accommodate a handicap person if they were to have to sit on the fold out chair. I didn’t want to risk folding out the metal stool thing, so the idea came into my head that I would slide the nozzle down and then sit on the tile floor of the shower and relax under the flow of hot water. At the time I wasn’t too concerned about whether the maid had cleaned the shower floor well enough before I sat my naked ass down, I just wanted the remedy to work and relieve me of my pain. So I did it. I slid the nozzle down and sat down “Indian style” on the floor of the shower. I sat that way for a good ten minutes. Head bent down, hands on knees, silently willing the headache to wash it’s way down the drain like I assumed the water was doing. Well you know what they say about assuming… Once I felt a little better I pulled myself up on the bar fitted into the wall of the shower, turned off the water, grabbed a towel and stepped into the bathroom right into an inch of water! The floor was flooded. I stood there a moment, drying myself off, and trying to figure out how the water could have soaked the floor and not gone down the drain like it was supposed to. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks…I remembered that at some point during my time spent sitting in the shower I had reached down to check the “boys” to determine if they were in need of another shaving, and had noticed they were resting on something metal. It was the round shower drain. I didn’t think nothing of it at the time, but apparently my nut sack had flattened itself over the drain and worked to seal it off from its intended purpose. I laughed silently at myself then used the remaining towels to sop up all the water. Susan often makes fun of my “low hangers” and points out sometimes when we’re watching porn, “See his balls don’t hang down as low as yours”….I guess abnormally large genitalia isn’t always a blessing!! ;-) How embarrassing….why did I share this story? This is certainly more information than you were looking for today! Oh well, back to work. Been out of the office for two days now and there is a lot to catch up on!

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