Sunday, June 12, 2005
A Piece of Shit Mom...
I am certainly thankful for the many responses to my “questions about you” post. You guys rock! It’s great to learn a little about you who come here, even if they are rather generic questions.
Well, it’s Sunday afternoon and the weekend is winding its way to completion. It has been a pretty good one here. Arlene’s visit wasn’t as bad as thought. The first named storm of the season made landfall right around the Florida/Alabama border and moved on inland from there. We experienced only the outer fringes of the eastern side of the storm, so all it amounted to was rain. The cloud cover and rain has cooled things down a bit and it is pretty comfortable for June in the Deep South.
This has been the first weekend since the cruise that Susan and I have been alone. My ex, FA, has had the kids since Thursday afternoon. Yesterday Susan and I slept in till 11am, then pretty much laid on our asses the rest of the day. In the evening we went out to dinner at a new restaurant, The Fox and Hound Pub, then on to see a movie. There are three movies we have wanted to see, The Longest Yard, Cinderella Man and Mr. And Mrs. Smith. We chose The Longest Yard and it was pretty good. I actually liked it better than the original. Today we woke up again at 11 and ain’t done much of nothing since. Susan is taking her usual nap now and I just got back from the grocery store. I am making a beef and chicken stir fry tonight. I am now about thirty minutes away from making a blender full of peach daiquiris. That should be good!
Seems it has been a while since I have ranted about my ex wife here on the pages of my blog. I guess I have been trying to ignore her idiotic antics in some way, but I can’t any longer. She is the most irresponsible and selfish person I have ever known. I’m not sure why it surprises me in light of all she has done in the two plus years since or divorce, but it does. Since I was able to eliminate the alimony back in April she has been living solely off the money her Mother sends her. She is a 35-year-old full time college student who does not work or do anything to support herself. She has an $850 a month apartment, a brand new (bought at Christmas) car, a new Dell computer and all her utilities (internet, power, water, cell phone, insurance, gas, etc) paid my dear old Mom. Oh, I mustn’t forget about the three therapists she sees weekly. That’s covered too.
Thursday when I walked the kid’s stuff out to her car she had to remove a pretty fancy guitar from the back seat. She went around to the trunk and took out a black leather case, lined with purple velvet, and put the guitar in it. I asked her what was up with the guitar and she replied that she had purchased it at a music store downtown and that she was taking lessons. I am not an expert but from the looks of the instrument it had to have cost a couple hundred dollars. As I stood there I began to mentally fume. Here is a woman who has a membership to the brand new and fancy Gold’s Gym, she always has her hair done and streaked with color, her finger and toe nails are always manicured and she goes daily to the tanning bed. What, I was thinking, does she do financially for her kids? Nothing, that’s what…It’s all about FA to FA. As I stood there I mentioned to her that T, my daughter, needed some t-shirts for the summer. Susan had purchased her several pairs of shorts and a bathing suit, but we figured FA could spring for some t-shirts and underwear and bras. The least expensive of the stuff she needs. I told her that all of this could be bought at Wal-Mart and that T wouldn’t care. She nodded and said okay and then they left.
That night I called and talked to my daughter. She told me she was playing her new game. Her Mother had bought her the new PS2 game for the Madagascar movie. I asked her what kind of clothes her mom had bought, and she told me none. Friday morning I called and talked to FA and asked her why, since T’s birthday is in a month and a half, would she buy her a new game when it could have been a birthday gift. She replied that she felt guilty for not having seen the kids in two weeks so she wanted to get them some toys. I just sighed and shook my head. She did assure me that she would get the needed clothes too.
Then Friday night I called around 10:30 pm to talk to the kids. T answered and said that Mom was in the kitchen making dinner. Dinner that late in the freaking evening? These kids are eleven and four, not college students. I got FA to get on the phone and I let her have it. I told her how irresponsible she was when it came to the kids. I told her that I couldn’t believe she still hasn’t bought T the clothes she needs. Man I was mad! She countered by saying the one thing that I figured she had always thought, but would never actually say out loud,
“It is not my responsibility to buy the kids any clothes.”
I stood there for nearly half a minute without speaking. In my head things were spinning. All I could think about was how Susan, just a step mom of two years, goes without regular hair cuts and color, does her own manicures, has to pay so much for T & L’s well being and they are not even her offspring. Meanwhile the real mother spends piles of money (money she does nothing to work for) on herself only. My response?
“No FA, it is your responsibility. YOU are these kid’s mother.”
She promptly hung up on me. She is such a selfish bitch without even a clue.
I have not spoken to her since, other to tell her to put one of the kids on the phone. I honestly believe I am finally done with her. For the better part of the past two years I have posed as her friend. I have bit my lip and held my tongue (usually) when she has told me about all the stupid ass shit she has done. I was compassionate during her “suicide” episodes, even when she told me it was only done for attention. I have been a shoulder to lean on during all the recent fan hitting shit over the married therapist/minister she had been screwing. I have listened to her tell me all about her classes and her grades. I have been the perfect image of the “ex’s can be friends” theory. Even though I was just acting, she bought it. Those days are over. I have come to my senses and the next time she tries to share something with me about her life I will politely interrupt her and say,
“Until you can take responsibility for your half in raising these kids I have nothing more to say to you.”
I am so tempted to take her ass to court and sue her for child support. We have done the research. We have talked to our attorney. A judge could force her to go to work and pay us support. Susan and I have talked this over. I am going to give her six more months to see if she can step up to the plate. If not, January may find us in court. Who knows?
Susan is up now and asked what I was doing. I just told her what it is I am writing about here and her response pretty much sums it all up:
“I just feel sorry for the kids for having a piece of shit Mom.”
Yep, I couldn’t have said it better myself.