Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Private Admissions and Vacation Prep...
I am about to admit something here that is rather embarrassing for me. Although I am close to it, I am not completely perfect. I am sure that has burst many of your bubbles! Okay, so you ready for this?
First let me set the stage…remember the awesome movie Glory? Remember the scene where Denzel Washington is being lashed with a whip for having deserted camp? Remember how, as he is getting whipped, the camera moves in for a close up of his face? He would flinch with each unseen lash of the whip, but he kept his resolve. He never spoke or cried out. All you could hear was the sound of the whip making contact with his bare flesh. Finally, after many hits, one tear breaks from his eye and rolls down his face. A very moving scene and an excellent performance. He won an Oscar for it after all. Well my performance today over shadowed his by a long shot.
Today at 9:30 am I went on an appointment Susan had made for me at a spa in town. I was scheduled to have a waxing. No, I was not getting ready for Speedo season and getting the bikini area waxed. It is something far worse…
In the past year or so I have noticed the unthinkable, something disgusting, and something I used to always make fun of when I would notice it on men in public. I have developed some hair on my shoulders, and a little in the middle of my back. I am sure you are rushing to the toilet to vomit now, go ahead I’ll wait for you. Okay, it’s not a lot. It is barely noticeable, but I know it’s there, and so does Susan. She claims it doesn’t bother her at all. She even joked back in January that she liked it because the extra fir would keep her warm in bed. Ain’t she funny? Anyway, I didn’t want to be sitting around the pool this week and be constantly worried that someone might be staring. So I went ahead and had it done. MY GOD how it hurt! It hurt like hell. It only took about 10 minutes since there wasn’t much to start with, but still…..WOW! Every time the cute, Haley Berry looking girl would pull off those strips I would flinch like Denzel. But, I didn’t cry out and I didn’t complain. There is a price to beauty, right? I don’t see how women can get it down to their crotches….damn.
Well, in other news I will be on the ocean this time tomorrow. Tomorrow is the big day where Susan and I leave for our cruise. I will not be able to check the internet till next Wednesday night. I don’t think I have ever been away from you all that long. It will be hard. Nah, who am I kidding? I’ll be on a cruise for craps sake! Soaking up the sun, drinking fruity drinks, eating good food, watching interesting entertainment, and having (hopefully) lots of mind blowing sex. I have ordered some special toys from this website. If you all are good, I may tell you what I got when I get back. ;-) So in my Cartman voice I say, “Screw you guys, I’m going to Cozumel.”
Cozumel, here I come!!
One last thing, I got me a new phone yesterday. It’s pretty snazzy. Digital camera and video with zoom, bluetooth, Star Wars ring tones, and so much more. I think I will be having some fun with that baby. I foresee many pictures of random chicks walking around at the mall or, better yet, at the pool! Hmmm, didn’t think about that one….It also has Internet capabilities. Last night after American Idol (wasn’t Bo the bomb?) I used it to log onto Yahoo Messenger. I stayed on for less than a minute, probably more like 10 seconds, then turned the phone off and plugged it in to charge. Duh, I didn’t know I had to log off of Yahoo. I thought it ended when I turned the phone off. When I finally logged onto Messenger here at the computer I had like 20 offline messages from many of you. Sorry about that folks!
Y’all take care and have a nice week! I will talk to you all again when I get back from my luxurious vacation! Whoooo Hooo!!