Tuesday, February 15, 2005
"When are we ever going to see Mom again?"
Asked by my daughter tonight as she sat at the kitchen table doing her homework. It has now been about two weeks since T has spent any time with her Mother. In all that time she has probably seen her a total of about 20 minutes. Today my ex checked herself into the psyche ward at the University hospital downtown. She called me today, crying and saying that she would probably be in there for at least two to three weeks. She said that she didn't want to go on, didn't want to live and needed to get some help. She also said that yesterday she took 12 sleeping pills in the hope of never waking up. This is the second time, that I know of, that she has done this in a week.
Well I agree that she has been out of it lately. She has been depressed and I am 100% sure it is all due to the medication they have her on. She is on an anti psychotic pill and an anti depression pill. She is zonked continuously and has no desire to do anything with or for herself. I remember the time a while back when I was taking too high a dose of Lexapro and I could barely get myself up off the couch. This is the same thing. She is being over medicated. AND she is using all this to get attention. Her suicide attempts, her crying on the phone, her begging family, and me, for money....it's all for attention. The woman has problems, but the problem is that she wants everyone else to take care of her besides herself.
As I have written, I am washing my hands of her. I met with my attorney and chunked down a check for $1,092 today so I can amend the divorce decree to eliminate the alimony, and any other claim she may have to my life insurance or proceeds from a future sale of my house. I am also going to take full custody of the kids and only allow her supervised visitation. Maybe this last part will help her realize that her dramatic pleas for attention ain't working. I hate to go this far, but it has to be done. She asked me to call her Father (he and her Mom are divorced) tonight and let him know what she is doing. Well I sure did call him and he and I had a thirty minute conversation about how she needs to get her life together. How we all, including her Mother, need to cut her off financially. He also told me that I should keep the kids away from her. Come to find out he has been sending her money too. He told me that he hasn't in a while and sent her a letter practically cutting her off and telling her to straighten up her life.
God, I hope this woman will come to her senses and do something to better herself, if not for her, then for these two kids.
So, how do you answer a question like that from your only daughter? I told T that her Mother was sick and would be in the hospital for a while. She asked what was wrong with her and I said,
"Have you noticed how, when you have been at her apartment, she has just lay in the bed not wanting to do anything?"
She said she had. I went on to tell her that her Mother was sad and down and needed help from the hospital. That in time she would be better. I wonder if I was telling the truth. It would be so hard to try to explain to an eleven year old that her Mother had taken her own life.