Hello everyone. Before I begin I would just like to point out that yesterday marked the one month anniversary of What's Up Chuck? All together between here and the old blog
I have been at it for 8 months now. As of this minute I have had 5,907 visits to my little corner of Blogdom since January 23rd. Thanks for all your continued visits and comments. So many of you (sans Snag) have made my life much better just by your well wishes and advice. Thanks!!! (just kidding Snag)
Okay, well yesterday wasn't the best day in my post divorce life. The ex called and asked if I would pick her up from the hospital today, I agreed then she asked to talk to T. Once she and T were off the phone my daughter told me that this weekend, when she and her brother stayed with their Mom, they might get a kitten (FA is jealous of the new puppy). Well I immediately got a little hot under the collar since I had already told FA that she would be having supervised visitation due to her continued "problems". Once I left the house to go pick up my son from school I called FA and told her that I didn't appreciate her telling T that she would be staying with her this weekend. I reminded her what I had told her on Saturday, about how she would be having supervised visitation for a while and that the kids would not be staying with her this weekend. I asked that, in the future, she not promise things that are not going to happen.
This did not go over too well. She began to freak out a bit telling me that all she was was depressed and she needed the company of the kids, and that she could NOT be without them. She went on to say that her Mother had suggested she find an attorney and she would pay for FA to fight me for the alimony and the kids. This pissed me off royally and I fired back with what her Mom had told me on the phone last week. I said to her,
"Well that's funny that your Mom would say that since she told me last Wednesday night that she wished you would just go ahead and kill yourself
Okay folks, first of all that is never something someone wants to hear that their Mother has said about them, and secondly it is pretty damn pathetic that any Mother would say that about their child.
The phone call ended with me telling her she could find someone else to drive her ass home from the hospital and her screaming, "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME
??", then hanging up. As soon as the phone was silent I immediately regretted what I had said and how I had handled the situation. That was pretty lousy of me.
Over the next 30 minutes I talked with my Dad and then Susan about what all had happened. See folks, the problem is this....Deep down I really have no fear of her being alone with the kids. I know that every "crazy" attempt she had made has been for attention. I have known this woman since 1989. She no more wants to die than I want to lick Saddam Hussein's hairy shit streaked ass. I only took the "supervised visitation" step because others (her parents, my parents, Susan, etc.) had made comments like, "I wouldn't let that crazy so and so be alone with your kids.
" My Dad helped me realize that I needed to do what I felt was right, but he did say that I should demand to talk with her doctor before she spends any time alone with L&T.
About an hour after the terrible phone conversation she called me back. I told her that I had over reacted and shouldn't have said what I had said. I also told her that I do not want to keep her from her kids, but I did want to know she was okay and that she would be on the road to full recovery. I told her that if I could speak with her doctor and get some professional assessment I would feel a lot better about it all. We had a pretty good conversation and I felt much better once it was over.
Fast forward to today at 1pm. I go to the hospital downtown to pick her up. Her social worker and doctor sat down with me in a conference room and told me that what she has is clinical depression. They said that many people have it and that it is not the end of the world. They said she would need to continue to get help and take medicine, but there is no reason why she shouldn't become a normal member of society. They told me that it would all be up to her, if she wanted to take the steps, but they had no fear that she would be a threat to our kids.
Well, that made me feel better and the talk we had on the way to her place was good and up beat. I think (hope) things are looking up. As long as she doesn't try to fight this elimination of alimony thing we should be alright. By the way, she admitted that her attempts were for attention! Yeah, I knew that already....I took her to lunch at Hooters and then to her apartment. I was back home by 3:30, ready to get back to work.
Thanks for all your good thoughts for me, my kids and this situation.